Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
