Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
