Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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