there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
