thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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