he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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