I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
