I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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