I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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