Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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