She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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