i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
