I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize