If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
