sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Come share oat with me in your robe
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
