He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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