I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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