one two three fourrrrnication!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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