Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
