Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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