well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
