I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
