after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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