we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
