That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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