CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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