My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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