Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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