Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
