idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
