I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
