Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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