3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
