you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
