considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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