College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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