Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
