i think i have herpe
just one?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
