omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They took my balls.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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