"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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