I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize