I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
