handjob tips. give me some.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
