11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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