make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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