Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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