Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
