I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
