If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
