maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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