sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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