Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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