so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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