I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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