I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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