Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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