Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
