i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
