we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
