I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Success! We fucked roommates!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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