I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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