It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
