i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
