oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
