Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
